Monday, September 22, 2003

Here are some points to live by.

Smoking Etiquette

Commonly accepted practices

1. Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never! This is the definitive rule
to live by!


2. The person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to
spark up the joint and get first hits...

3. If someone rolls a nice joint, its good to give the person a complement
on his rolling skills...

4. If someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using the excuse that
its okay for them to bogart it since it's their weed, this is
definitely not cool. The punishment depends on the quality of the weed
and how much they put in. (If it was real crappy and they was real
cheap with it, then you rag on them :-)

5. If someone is too uncoordinated to light the bowl (due to being too
stoned or the person is just a retard :-) then they must relinquish
control of the lighter to someone more able to get it lit. This does
not mean the person who lights gets free hits... this privilege tends
to get abused ("hey lemme light it for you...")

6. When it is your turn to hit the joint, take your hit and then pass it
on. I've noticed that some of my friends have a tendancy to tell a
story or something whenever it is their turn and hold on to the joint
for a long time. We call this "Jenning the Joint"

7. If someone is so stoned that they blow into the bowl and blow all the
shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person can't
smoke on the next round (unless it was their stuff)

8. If you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some
of the food you may have lying around. Munchies happen, so don't be
cheap with your food.

9. On the other side of this, always offer to go on a food run, especially
if the person whose house it is got you high.

10. If someone does offer you food, don't totally pig-out on it. They had
to pay for it, and most people have better uses for their money than
buying food for their guests. (Like buying more weed)

11. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, while stoned and sucking nitrous oxide out of
a balloon in the presence of two bongs abruptly decide to stand on your
head, as you may topple over, spilling both bongs and getting bongwater
all over the carpet. Trust me on this one !

12. If someone asks for a sip of your drink, you must give them some..
(drymouth is not fun)

13. Converse of the above: if you ask for a sip, don't take a large gulp

14. If smoking from a bong or a joint, never put the whole thing in your
mouth and get it all sopping wet.. its disgusting and it messes up the
joint.

15. If your smoking from a bong and there's not enough in the bowl for a
whole other hit, you should save the smoke in the chamber for the next
person..(don't let go of the carb and take it all yourself)

16. Never bogart

17. Never bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If you don't like
it don't smoke it!

18. If a friend gets you high sometime in the future you need to get that
friend high

19. NEVER, and I repeat NEVER take a shot of bong water, not even on a
dare. It tastes like complete ass and you will more than likely puke
from it.

20. If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite to
roll a joint, (a small one, if you wish) and smoke with the person who
sells you the stuff.

21. If a person passes on one round DO NOT assume that they are passing on
the next round. I don't know how many times I have passed on one round
(actually this doesn't happen often but when it does...) and on the
next they just a skipped me because I didn't take any on the last.

22. It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without notifying
that person of it's possible cashed-ness. A proper warning would be
'Here ya go...I think it might be cashed.'

23. The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity to take the
first hit. It doesn't matter who's bowl it is.
24. Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you high. I know it
sounds silly, but I know people who never say thanks and it gets a
little annoying.

25. Always ask before lighting a cigarrette, just because you a person lets
you smoke-out in their house does not mean that you can smoke
cigarrettes. I have several friends who smoke-out in their house but
don't let people smoke cigarrettes.

26. If you are smoking with two other people and you are the middle person,
you do not get a hit every time it passses you. Just because you are
in the middle does not allow you extra hits.

27. When using a bong, don't slobber all over it.

28. When you are high, try to be careful about the homeowners stuff.
Being "so high" is not an excuse for breaking stuff.

29. Again, when using a bong, don't blow out the ashes, unless that's what
the "homeowner" does.

30. Never go to someone's house expecting them to get you high.

31. If you spill the bong, clean it up! (And don't forget to put water back
in it!!)

32. When the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem with it, it is
common courtesy here to put the roach in a bowl and finish it that
way.. that way the people who don't mind burning their fingers don't
get it all.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

So, I'm thinkin, "Hey! I am a cool guy!" I am an M.A.N! I just got done remodeling my kitchen, and I just finished the floor. Makes me feel like pissing on a tree, and howling at the moon!

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

This weeks favorite "New Rule" courtesy of Bill Mahr.

New Rule: Country music stars can’t be authors. Charlie Daniels’ new book, Ain’t No Rag: Freedom, Family and the Flag, is a collection of musing by noted white trash icon Charlie Daniels, on subjects ranging from American flags to American flag bumper stickers to what to do to a hippie if you catch him trying to burn your flag. Before this book, I was ambivalent on the issue of flag burning. Now I find myself reconsidering the question of book burning.

Monday, September 15, 2003



Hmmmm, so..our president may just be alright.

Sunday, September 14, 2003




HAPPY PATRIOTS DAY!

HAPPY PATRIOTS DAY!



Tuesday, September 09, 2003




So, I have decided that every week, I am going to post my favorite "New Rules"courtesy of Real time with Bill Mahr. This weeks Favorite is is
New Rule: It's just a doughnut. What is up with the Krispy Kreme phenomenon? It's a glob of deep-fried dough, not Super Bowl tickets. Aren't we Americans fat enough without pretending that doughnuts are hip?

And while we're at it, it you're not a trucker, a trucker hat isn't cool either.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003



So, I'm watching "Real time" with Bill Mahr this last week and he had on comedian Dennis Miller, Republican Bay Buchanan and actor Larry Miller. Mahr had a small rant to make about Rap Music and had a small portion of Lyric from Nelly's "Shake ya Tail Feather." It read "Come on you know the tics connect like Voltron, Collect so much grass popo thinking we mow lawns,
My gohans don't match that, But it matches her head wrap and the seats that I got in the lac." Damn thats one ugly guy!!!!

Monday, September 01, 2003



"Change my pitch up, smack ma' bitch up."
Here is a very funny man that deserves more
attention that he gets really. Mr. Richard Cheese!
Hear is a sample of a song made popular by
Blink182, "What's my age again?"

© 2007 Lynched Munkey